Like a Scarf Untied To Be Carried off by the Wind
My husband, our family's primary financial provider, lost his job in January 2019. It was sudden, unexpected, and no fault of his own. The loss came with a three-month severance package, which we were naively confident would carry us over until he found a new job. Unfortunately, the severance ran out way before he got hired again. Yet the Lord took care of us through a consistent flow of freelance jobs.
It meant working long hours out of our basement, without the stability of regular paychecks, company-issued health insurance, paid days off, or a 401k. However, it did pay our bills, and the flexibility of self-employment was nice.
The Perfect Job
Just as the freelance work started to dry up, he got hired. A permanent, full-time job with paid vacation days and BCBS insurance, and best of all, regular paychecks directly deposited into our account every two weeks. I was in heaven! On paper, the job sounded perfect for him! When I first saw the post and read it out loud, I told him, "Don't bother applying. Just show up there on Monday ready to work!"
Well, he got hired, and almost from the start, something felt wrong. They had very little for him to do. He tried to keep busy and "earn his keep" while asking his boss when they expected things to pick up. Three months into his new position, when he got called into a meeting with his boss and his boss's boss, he immediately knew what was happening--he was losing his job, again.
Panic Mode
That brings me to a day in late September. It was a few days away from his final paycheck and a few weeks away from what I feared would be the end of our ability to pay our mortgage, our utilities, put gas in our cars, buy groceries, or enjoy the protection of health care coverage.
I felt mad. Also scared, confused, worried, embarrassed, and really, really alone.
The alone part was hard.
I was embarrassed to tell anyone that we were here–again. And I didn't want my friends and family to judge me--or worse yet, pity me--or to try to give me money. (Insert face in palm emoji here.)
There were moments when I felt weak and desperately wanted to run into a friend's arms for a warm, secure hug. I'd think of my friends, mom, and sister and knew every one of them would warmly embrace me. But something held me back every single time. I sensed the Lord wanted this to be between us--at least for now.
Looking to God for Help and Hope
He is, after all, enough to meet all my needs.
(2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.)
So I went to Him repeatedly and told Him I was scared. I made myself vulnerable to Him, holding open my hands to Him, inviting Him to pick up my burden. I confessed my sin. I asked Him to use me. I inquired about what was on His heart and told Him, "Lord, if it concerns You, I want it to concern me too."
And at this point, something big started to change for me. Like a scarf I'd untied to be carried off by the wind, the anxiety that had almost consumed me was suddenly gone. I felt a literal release of that heavy burden I'd been carrying myself and a real sense that I did not need to feel anxious.
Best yet, it felt as though the Lord had traded my concerns for His. Almost simultaneously, as He lifted my anxiety from me, He revealed some of His cares to me. I encountered a woman who needed encouragement, another who felt forgotten, someone who needed affirmation, and another who just needed a friend. The more I cared for the things on His heart, the smaller my problem felt. I was experiencing Matthew 6:33 coming to life right before my eyes! ("But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”)
Still Trusting
It's been a couple of months since I wrote about this experience. I am still trusting the Lord to take care of us, and He continues to put His concerns on my heart. That day when we can't pay our bills still may come; in fact, it could be right around the corner. But the Lord has shown me that He'll be with me on that day too, so it's ok.
This is my story, but what about you? Are you worried or anxious about something? What are you holding onto that the Lord wants you to give over to Him?
Unfortunately, there's not a chapter in the Bible titled, "Three easy steps to release your worries to God." I sure wish there was! However, here are three suggestions that I believe are in line with His Word, and if you do them, you can't help but draw near to Him.
How to Give Your Worries to God
- Identify when you feel consumed by worry and anxiety, reject those thoughts, and give them over to God. 2 Corinthians 10:5b "...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
- Pray. 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
- Trust Him to take care of your situation and redirect your energy into the things that are on His heart. Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
These three steps aren't a complete list but work for me when I feel anxious.
Dear friend, don't let anxiety separate you from the promises in God's Word. Instead, free your worries like a scarf in the wind. Now rejoice in the freedom that comes as you release your fears to God.
Receive Notification When a New Blog is Written:
Share this Blog Post:





