Why Did I Even Consider This?
It was not the job offer that I expected. This offer was bad. The pay was awful, the work was not something I wanted to do, and the environment felt chaotic.
It should have been an immediate hard pass, right? But it wasn't. I really wrestled with what to do.
Why would I even consider a job like this?
At the time, I didn't have any other leads. I knew I would eventually find a job, but when I thought about my family's financial well-being, I felt rushed to get back to work, and that was giving me trust issues. Trust issues, meaning, should I trust myself and take the first offer I got, or was I willing to wait and trust God to provide the right opportunity at the right time? When you put it like that, the decision seems obvious!
During this time, God had been working in me, and I was starting to trust Him in a deeper way than I had before. The time I spent reading the Bible felt new and refreshing. But I was anxious about being without a job. One night, when I lay awake feeling overwhelmed, Philippians 4:6-7 flooded my memory. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
I prayed that night, making my requests known to God. And in return—peace! God took everything I thought I understood about being unemployed and all those fears burdening my heart and replaced them with peace. My circumstances put me in a vulnerable position that allowed me to trust Him in ways I hadn't before. It was actually pretty cool.
Another neat thing happened in the days following the bad offer. God spoke so clearly through my friends. While deliberating about what to do, I asked my friends for advice and prayer. And they did not disappoint! What I couldn't see clearly, my friends could. (Sidenote: If you don't have a few friends you can turn to for prayer and honest, godly counsel, get some! Join a life group at your church immediately and establish your pack!)
Liz reminded me, "[The Lord] has given you clarity so far. It might be a hard no."
Stephanie pointed out, "God has led you so faithfully, and I see in you such a willingness to follow him and where He leads...it seems the delay is intentional."
Laura wisely said, "The Lord will help you know what to do, but I know he doesn't want you to make any decisions based on guilt, fear, or shame (Romans 8:1)."
Jennifer pointed out, "It would be a constant battle knowing all the time and energy you'd be putting into the job and not being [fairly] compensated. Don't sell yourself short."
And Cindy observed, "I wish it [the position] was something you really loved."
The Lord used these ladies to speak truth to me in a way that helped me see so clearly. I graciously turned down the job offer and resigned myself to waiting it out and trusting God for His best.
Friend, I know this can be hard to do! Sometimes, I want something so desperately that it feels impossible to wait on God. It's easy to settle or convince myself that the thing I came up with on my own is good enough. When I give up waiting on the Lord because it feels like He's not listening or not going to answer how I want Him to, I'm setting myself up for more disappointment.
God's way is always best because what He has for us is better than our immediate happiness—it's holiness, which ultimately leads to joy.
Friend, I don't know what you are going through today. And I won't pretend that what worked for me will work for you. (I wish there were a magic, no-fail formula we could share with each other!) But what I do know with complete confidence is that time spent meditating on God's Word is never a waste of time. Whatever you are up against, filter it against the truth in God's Word and enlist some godly friends for backup. And remember what my friend Laura wisely said, "The Lord will help you know what to do!"
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)
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