My husband, Nate, recently brought up an argument we'd had several years ago. I was mad at him for bringing it up again and embarrassed to rehash the situation in front of our friends, but more than anything, I was angry that he still didn't see things my way. I didn't want to be at odds with him, though, especially over an old issue (that I thought was resolved), so I asked God to help me let this go and move on. God answered that prayer, but not in the way I expected. When I asked God to help dissolve my anger over this subject, He opened my eyes to show me that Nate was right. (Gasp!) I hadn't listened to him when he told me how important something was to him because I believed my logic trumped his emotions. In my mental game of rock, paper, scissors—logic versus emotion edition—I was sure my rational argument would always win. It took five years for me to see why I was wrong. My husband's feelings that day did matter, even if what he wanted to do wasn't logical to me. Five years after the argument, I finally returned to him and apologized for not listening. Fast forward to last week. I was out for a run thinking about something else that has me feeling conflicted—a loved one's relationship with God. They've told me they believe in God and even pray and regularly ask for His forgiveness. But they are missing something. They recognize Jesus as God, but not as Lord. Just believing God is real isn't enough. James 2:19 says: "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." However, there is a critical difference between intellectually acknowledging who God is and having a transformative relationship with Him. Demons, who we know oppose God, acknowledge His existence (they "believe" and "shudder"), but this kind of belief doesn't translate into submission, love, or transformation. It's one thing to recognize who God is, but knowing him as Lord is like the "2-step authentication code" you need to unlock your all-in relationship with Him. Until you see Jesus as God AND Lord, you're missing a critical component to your belief in God. Friend, where do you stand on the spectrum of belief? Are you huddled far to the side of unbelief, or do you lean more towards the other side of trusting in Jesus as your Lord and Savior? Likely, you are somewhere in between. What separates those who simply believe in God from those who've surrendered their life to Him is allowing Him to be both Savior and Lord of our lives. Like I was blind to the relevance of my husband's feelings during our disagreement, many people can't see their need to make Jesus the Lord of their lives. If you sense something is missing in your relationship with God—a true surrender—I encourage you to pause right now and ask Him: "God, help me see where I'm holding back. Show me what it means to make you not just my Savior, but also the Lord of my life."

Choosing Faith Over Worry

But what if they don't know?

Did you ever see one of those pictures of a dog walker casually strolling down the sidewalk, surrounded by a pack of pups of all shapes and sizes? I frequently think about that unrealistic scenario when I'm out walking with my three dogs. Three dogs, one me—the odds are rarely in my favor! On most walks, I feel outnumbered and outmatched. If only they would all go the same way at the same pace without constant sniffing, scratching, peeing, pooping, and lunging at everyone and everything that that runs, walks, or rolls by. But as you can imagine, that never happens. Multiple times each walk, I find myself frozen in the middle of the path, arms pulled taut in different directions, leashes tangled around my feet, questioning why I thought this was a good idea. It's in those frustrating moments that Jesus' words in Matthew 6:24 come to mind: "No one can serve two masters...You cannot serve both God and money." The Moody Bible Commentary explains it well: "A misplaced heart leads to a misaligned will that tries to serve two incompatible masters...Eventually defaulting to one or the other." When I'm being pulled by three different dogs, only one of us can truly lead—either me or one of them. There can't be four masters. It's the same with our priorities in life. If our career climbs to the top, we devote our best efforts, overtime, weekends, thoughts, and energy to work success. If relationships rule, we pour ourselves into keeping others happy and thriving. How we invest our time and energy shows what's really mastering us. Many of us would say that God is our master, me included. But I wonder, if someone examined my days, would they find evidence to support this? Or would they see hints of other masters—materialism, comfort, status? As I untangle my feet from a web of leashes once again, I'm reminded that when I allow myself to be pulled in multiple directions, I'm not serving the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. There can only be one master of my life. When it comes to me, I choose the one true Master, Jesus, who gently leads me back when I find myself pulled in multiple directions. "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." (Matthew 6:24) JUST FOR FUN! 12 TIPS FOR WALKING MULTIPLE DOGS! If it's at all avoidable, don't do it. (Ha! I laugh because I don't take my own advice.) If you must walk multiple dogs, beg someone to go with you. Always wear shoes with good support and sticky soles. Your feet must be able to firmly grip the ground when you need to dig in your heels to restrain your pack. If you must wear gloves, wear something with some grip or traction. Do not wear gloves that are smooth or silky. You'll never get the grip you need to hold all those leashes. Use leashes with a second grip handle closer to the dog's collar. You'll need that to keep your dog from jumping at other dogs, bikers, people, scooters, baby strollers, etc. (If you think that sounds awfully specific, you would be correct.) Have your poop bags ready to go. If you buy those compact rolls of dog poop bags, separate the bags from the roll ahead of time, and open them up. Speaking of poop bags, watch out for holes. One more poop bag tip, always bring more than you think you'll need. You'd be surprised how many times three dogs can poop. If you want to try one of those double-headed dog leashes, try to use it for two dogs who walk at a similar pace. Do not make eye contact or say hello when approaching another person with a dog. Once you make eye contact, your dogs consider this permission to make contact—and it will not be with their eyes. When walking multiple dogs in the winter, watch out for black ice, regular ice, snow, and any potentially slippery surfaces. If you get pulled by multiple dogs on ice, your backside will meet the pavement. (If you do wipe out, hold on tight and don't let go of the leashes when you fall!) And whatever you do, never, never, ever let all your dogs walk unleashed like I did back in February 2023! Happy dog walking!

It was not the job offer that I expected. This offer was bad . The pay was awful, the work was not something I wanted to do, and the environment felt chaotic. It should have been an immediate hard pass, right? But it wasn't. I really wrestled with what to do. Why would I even consider a job like this? At the time, I didn't have any other leads. I knew I would eventually find a job, but when I thought about my family's financial well-being, I felt rushed to get back to work, and that was giving me trust issues. Trust issues, meaning, should I trust myself and take the first offer I got, or was I willing to wait and trust God to provide the right opportunity at the right time? When you put it like that, the decision seems obvious! During this time, God had been working in me, and I was starting to trust Him in a deeper way than I had before. The time I spent reading the Bible felt new and refreshing. But I was anxious about being without a job. One night, when I lay awake feeling overwhelmed, Philippians 4:6-7 flooded my memory. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I prayed that night, making my requests known to God. And in return—peace! God took everything I thought I understood about being unemployed and all those fears burdening my heart and replaced them with peace. My circumstances put me in a vulnerable position that allowed me to trust Him in ways I hadn't before. It was actually pretty cool. Another neat thing happened in the days following the bad offer. God spoke so clearly through my friends. While deliberating about what to do, I asked my friends for advice and prayer. And they did not disappoint! What I couldn't see clearly, my friends could. (Sidenote: If you don't have a few friends you can turn to for prayer and honest, godly counsel, get some! Join a life group at your church immediately and establish your pack!) Liz reminded me, "[The Lord] has given you clarity so far. It might be a hard no." Stephanie pointed out, "God has led you so faithfully, and I see in you such a willingness to follow him and where He leads...it seems the delay is intentional." Laura wisely said, "The Lord will help you know what to do, but I know he doesn't want you to make any decisions based on guilt, fear, or shame (Romans 8:1)." Jennifer pointed out, " It would be a constant battle knowing all the time and energy you'd be putting into the job and not being [fairly] compensated . Don't sell yourself short. " And Cindy observed, " I wish it [the position] was something you really loved." The Lord used these ladies to speak truth to me in a way that helped me see so clearly. I graciously turned down the job offer and resigned myself to waiting it out and trusting God for His best. Friend, I know this can be hard to do! Sometimes, I want something so desperately that it feels impossible to wait on God. It's easy to settle or convince myself that the thing I came up with on my own is good enough. When I give up waiting on the Lord because it feels like He's not listening or not going to answer how I want Him to, I'm setting myself up for more disappointment. God's way is always best because what He has for us is better than our immediate happiness—it's holiness, which ultimately leads to joy. Friend, I don't know what you are going through today. And I won't pretend that what worked for me will work for you. (I wish there were a magic, no-fail formula we could share with each other!) But what I do know with complete confidence is that time spent meditating on God's Word is never a waste of time. Whatever you are up against, filter it against the truth in God's Word and enlist some godly friends for backup. And remember what my friend Laura wisely said, " The Lord will help you know what to do!" "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)

I left my last job running (sprinting, really), closing that door firmly behind me. I ran directly into another job and just kept on running. The new position was just a temporary one, and I (wrongly) thought I'd be able to fill in temporarily for our church's communications director while simultaneously looking for (and securing) my new permanent position. That did NOT happen. Lol. Little did I know how hard I would work in that temporary position. At the end of the day, I had very little left in me for a full-on job search. And suddenly, there I was, having jumped off that unexpectedly fast-paced employment merry-go-round and officially unemployed. I would have been happy about the break if not for the fact that I wouldn't be collecting a paycheck and for the intrusive thoughts that were casting doubts about my self-worth and financial stability. Really happy, in fact. But finding a job is harder than it should be. The current application and interview process is absolutely broken. I've applied for jobs that read like they were made for me and didn't even get the opportunity to interview. I felt worried and scared about what would happen if I wasn't contributing to our family's income. When it came to my job search, I felt like I'd run straight into an impenetrable brick wall. Yet here's the thing: I fully believe, like, 100% fully believe, that the Lord ushered me out of my last job. His handwriting was all over my departure—the way He provided a "soft landing" in the temporary position at my church and in the positive way the terms of my resignation were received. Yet there I was, battling insecurity, depression, and fear, wondering what might happen if I didn't secure a new job fast. Where was all that faith I had three months ago when I confidently handed in my resignation in exchange for a short-term position? I'm still trying to figure this all out, and as backward as this may sound, I think my faith may be stronger today than it was in December when I turned in my notice. Why stronger now? Because I've been wrestling with it, proactively searching for answers, and working out my faith muscles in ways I hadn't used them before. I recently heard something in a message from Jackie Hill Perry that resonated with me. She said, and I'll paraphrase, that although we tell God we want more of Him and ask Him to fill us up, we are too full of ourselves to allow much room for Him—much less more of Him. She gave the example of a nearly full water bottle. If you hand that nearly full water bottle to someone and ask them to fill it up with fresh spring water, they can top you off, but your bottle is already full, so you won't be getting much of the fresh water. That's how I've been with God, asking for more of Him but giving Him very little room to fill me. Have you ever said: "Lord help me..." "...find a job." And then try to make a mediocre job offer sound like a gift from Him? "...meet 'the one.'" And then try to justify how someone who doesn't meet His standards is the one God sent? "...overcome this sin in my life." And then make excuses or justifications as you modify the sin to a more "acceptable" measure? I am learning that God is able to meet my needs. And when I surrender my independence, He will meet my needs in ways I've never experienced. The more I let go of doing things my way, on my terms, in my time, the more room I give God to work in His holy and perfect way. And in this way, I get the more of Him that I've been asking for. But I'll never get there if I don't surrender my plan. My need surrendered to His will, becomes the platform on which I will receive more of God. What does this mean in regards to my job search? Well, for starters, it means letting go of my independence and trading my best for God's. (This is not the same as becoming irresponsible and giving up on looking for a job.) It means taking Philippians 4:6 to heart. God tells us, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." So, as I am looking, applying, writing, and rewriting my cover letter for the hundredth time, I am not giving in to worry or anxiety, but I am bringing my need to God—over and over again. I am committing my job search to prayer and petition. Friend, I know it takes an extra amount of faith to let go of something important, like the desire for a job, a life partner, or a child. I know it can seem impossible not to feel anxious, pointless to ask God over and over for the same thing, and even irresponsible to trust God instead of fretting. But when we surrender, we give God permission to meet our needs in His best way, and we get to receive more of Him. Yes, it is easy to trust the Lord when we feel in control, but there is so much more we will learn about Him and receive from Him when we fully surrender to His plans and purposes. What do you need to surrender to allow more room for God?

(Amidst the Noisy Voices in My Head)

It was not a typical Friday night for me. I was sitting in a crowded pub in Milwaukee, surrounded by my family. There was a live polka band playing (yes, you heard that right, a live polka band. Like I said, I was in Milwaukee.), and the upbeat sound of the accordion had everyone's toes tapping. Suddenly, my daughter said, "You're going to "BeReal" with me!" and leaned over to include me in her selfie. Are you familiar with BeReal? I'd never heard of this unfiltered app until about a year ago when my daughter told me I was about to BeReal with her and took my picture with her phone. If this is a new concept to you, BeReal is an app where you show what's going on in your life in real-time. You never know when you'll be prompted to BeReal, but once your phone tells you it's time, you have two minutes to snap a picture of yourself being real in the moment. There are no edits. No filters. Just you in the moment. As we jump into the new year, I'm going to be real with you. Although I had more than a two-minute warning, the Lord recently prompted me to take some quick steps of faith that will force me to be real about how I trust Him. Around this time last year, I started a new job. But after just a few months, I knew it wasn't a good fit. I stuck it out, tried to keep an open mind, and waited to see if the tides would turn while learning whatever I could from the position. But as the weeks passed, I sensed so strongly the Lord prompting me to resign. Which, honestly, sounded better and better every day. But I wasn't about to quit my job without another lined up. So, I prayed and waited while I applied for other jobs. As the days went by without any interviews, I felt this desperation growing in me. I knew I needed to leave this job, and I even felt like the Lord was prompting me to resign, yet it felt foolish to do so without something else lined up. Then, the Lord intervened in an unexpected way. The communications director from my church was about to take a 10-week leave. We'd already agreed that I'd fill in for her while she was out, carrying out the most essential functions of her job while she was away. A week before she was scheduled to leave, without a shadow of a doubt, the Lord distinctly prompted me to send her this text, "If you weren't trying to respect that I have another job that I am trying to work around while filling in for you, would you have more things to assign to me while you are out?" She replied, "Yes, but they are BIG projects, and I don't have time to prepare you for them before I leave." The Holy Spirit prompted me to text one more thing, "If you had more work to pass over right away, I'd quit my job and dedicate my time to your projects and my job search." In less than 24 hours, she'd come up with a list of things I could work on in her absence, got the extra hours approved by the senior pastor, and I'd written and turned in my letter of resignation. I quit my permanent job for a 10-week assignment in less than a day. And it felt great! In the back of my mind, there is some doubt about what will happen when the 10 weeks are up and this temporary position is over. Finding a job is hard work and takes time. The odds are not in my favor that I will have a new job by mid-March. But for whatever reason, I'm not worried about this. This 10-week assignment feels like a gift, a way out of the wrong job while trusting Him with the rest. With such a strong sense of certainty, I know the Lord is in the details. How do I know this? That's easy—it's because I feel so much peace about a decision that would ordinarily give me so much anxiety. Be Real with Me in 2024 Whereas I am not a big fan of suddenly being pulled into someone's selfie, I am all in favor of being real with each other. I want you to be real with me when I ask you how you are. And I want it to be ok for me to be real with you, to tell you how I'm really feeling. Above all, I want us to be real enough to talk about how we see God working, or maybe not working, in our lives. I took a leap of faith when I handed in my notice without a solid plan for what's next. I trust that God will be real with me—real present, real in guiding my steps, and real in growing my faith to trust Him more. As I commit to being real in the new year, I am encouraged by the reality of God's presence and guidance in my life. In times of doubt about what the future holds after this 10-week assignment, I feel peace knowing that God is not confined to my timelines or limits. He is real in every step I take, guiding me even when the path ahead seems uncertain. So, as you navigate your own journey of being real, I encourage you, friend, to recognize the realness of God in your life. Be open to His promptings, even when they seem unconventional or go against the norm. Trust that He is real in guiding your steps and growing your faith. Happy New Year!

Learning to Listen