When Someone "Flips Their Top"
Learning to Listen
My Grandma Betty has been gone for many years now, but I still remember roughly 30 years ago when she was battling breast cancer. She'd decided to have a mastectomy and eventually got a prosthesis.
Grandma had a big, outgoing personality, and I remember how eager and unembarrassed she was to show anyone curious how her prosthesis worked. We were standing in her bedroom one day when she asked me if I wanted to see it. Before I could politely decline, she lifted her shirt over her face. Grandma wasn't embarrassed, but I sure was!
The longer I live, the more convinced I become that we all are a little like my Grandma Betty. I'm not suggesting that everyone's willing to flash their tops. (Thank goodness!) But whether you're 10, 15, 25, 50, or whatever, I bet you've got a scar to show or a story to tell.
What do you do when someone unexpectedly lifts their top? (Figuratively speaking, hopefully!) Sometimes it can be awkward. There are times when I don't know what to say. Many times, I can't relate. At times, the topic seems so personal I wonder why they are telling me. But more often than not, I find myself at a loss for words, the right words, and I'm not sure what to say. I don't want to come across as insensitive, or unknowingly say the wrong thing.
As easy as it is to say the wrong thing, you can't go wrong with being a good listener. As they tell their story, I listen to hear how God was at work. They may not be ready for me to point it out, but it's always a blessing when you can catch a glimpse of God's intervention, redemption, or His presence in the hardship.
Are you familiar with the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis? (Or you may know the story from the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.) His jealous brothers tossed him in a pit and later sold him to some merchants who took him back to Egypt. Imagine the emotions Joseph must have felt! Fear. Betrayal. Anger. Sadness.
This young man was sold into slavery by his brothers, became a servant in Potiphar's house, was falsely accused of sexual assault by Potiphar's wife, was then thrown in jail, and seemingly forgotten. Eventually, Joseph rose to a position of power after interpreting the Pharaoh's dream and became the one whose plan and preparation spared Egypt from the upcoming famine. So, when he saw his brothers again after all these years, he undoubtedly had a lot to say! (Where would he even start?!)
Although the Bible doesn't give us a play-by-play of their dialog, the text shows that Joseph's brothers stood back and let him talk. They listened. (Genesis 45:3-13) That was probably a good move. What could they possibly say, given the situation? My second observation is that because Joseph's brothers were listening, they didn't have to wait long to hear how God used Joseph's position for good despite their original evil intentions for him.
What a gift we can give our friends by simply listening. What a gift we receive when we are trusted with someone's story and see God at work. The next time someone "flips their top" to show you the scar, whether literal or figurative, lean in, listen up, and take a close look. You honor them by listening, and your faith will be strengthened and revived when you see how God was with them in their trial.
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