Belonging
I was standing in the middle of the high school football team’s practice field, which at the time was set up for a regional cross country meet. Loud 80’s rock music was playing over the PA system. The late fall wind was whipping my hair across my face. My toes were already freezing in my wet shoes. But I didn’t care about any of those things as I stood there watching my daughter on the other side of the field.
It was about five minutes before race time. The runners on the girls varsity cross country team were huddled in a circle, gearing up for a big race on a freezing cold Saturday morning on a wet and muddy course. Guns and Roses’ Welcome to the Jungle was blasting over the PA system. And my daughter, the tallest by several inches, was in the middle of a huddle of runners dressed in purple, psyching herself and her teammates up before an important race.
And momentarily, time stood still as I flashed back to a memory from just two years earlier. Same girl. But a very different girl. Still the tallest in the group, but she’s not surrounded by a pack of friends or even accompanied by a single companion. She’s at my side. Always at my side. She could be surrounded by peers, even peers with similar interests and values, yet still be very much alone. No matter if it was for reasons of her own doing, some subliminal vibes coming from the other girls, or a combination of both, whatever the reason, she felt like she didn’t fit in, and she didn’t really try to.
But at this moment, she belonged with this group of purple-clad runners. She was accepted. Welcomed. And surrounded by friendship. That moment made such an impression on me that I went home and wrote about it. (Once I thawed out and could feel my fingers again!) But what does it mean for us today? How many of us have had an experience like my daughter's—when we felt alone, left out, or like we didn't fit in? If we are honest, I bet we've all been in her place at one time or another. Maybe you were...
The only single person mingling among a group of married couples.
The only non-mother in a group of women talking about their kids.
The new member in a group of old childhood friendships.
The only woman at the boardroom table, all the other chairs filled by men.
In those uncomfortable moments, when loneliness creeps in, and you are desperate to feel like you belong, remember what Paul wrote in Ephesians 1:4: “For he [God] chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.”
God chose you. You belong to Him. You have a place with Him. And He will never leave you. You have value.
Yet, in a moment of total transparency, I must admit that even though I know God has chosen me and am dearly loved by the Father, sometimes I still want a friend at my side or to be engulfed in a hug. We can be that for each other! We need people to remind us that God chose us while simultaneously needing friends whose physical presence says, "You belong here with me. You are welcome here. I am here for you."
Today, challenge yourself to look for the one who needs to hear that God has chosen her—and tell her! Look for someone who is standing alone—and be a friend.
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